Image courtesy of Tom Gralish/Philadelphia Inquirer.
The apocalypse had arrived. The New Hampshire Democratic primary was close, and the Iowa caucus an abject disaster. Nate Silver’s FiveThirtyEight ominously forecasted that the two most likely winners of the Democratic nomination would be “No One” and “Not a Democrat.” The latter hardly seemed like a good idea (despite the performance of “Democrat,” the last nominee), and internal polling indicated the former wouldn’t stand a chance against an incumbent president. The Democratic Party, it seemed, was in need of a savior.
Eschatological context aside, the entrance of former New York City Mayor Michael R. Bloomberg into the 2020 presidential contest should disturb even the most casual fans of American democracy—least of all because the prospect of selecting a billionaire/New Yorker/alleged sexual harasser/former Republican to challenge Donald Trump evokes a certain adage about that which fire shouldn’t be fought with. Bloomberg, the eighth-richest person in the world, has spent over $400 million of his own money on campaign advertisements, ten times as much as former Mayor Pete Buttigieg of South Bend, Indiana and Sen. Bernie Sanders of Vermont, and more than double that of fellow billionaire Tom Steyer. $1.6 billion, it seems, is sufficient capital for a vanity project like Tom 2020 or the equally farcical Need to Impeach (mission accomplished?), but hardly enough to brute-force that most critical aspect of campaigning for president: getting anyone to support you (Steyer sits at 1.6% as of press time). In comparison, Bloomberg’s bonanza has been a boon: the mayor has doubled his poll numbers to 14% in a mere two weeks.
Constantine the Great, to an insubordinate bishop, once chastised “Take a ladder, and climb up to heaven alone.” Not only has Bloomberg taken his ladder, a mob of helping hands are reaching out to pull him up. The New York Times, in a devastatingly researched account of Bloomberg’s financial influence, reports that the mayor’s “political and philanthropic spending has… secured the allegiance or cooperation of powerful institutions and leaders within the Democratic Party who might take issue with parts of his record were they not so reliant on his largess.” To wit: after Bloomberg donated $300,000 to the Democratic National Convention two days before his entrance into the race, the DNC overhauled its debate qualification criteria to let him in, drawing criticism even from the likes of MSNBC. Over 100 mayors have endorsed Bloomberg—here’s Washington, D.C. Mayor Muriel Bowser’s argument: “I think we need a new President. And I think Mike Bloomberg is the person who is going to beat Donald Trump. I think that he brings a certain pragmatism to the job because he has been a mayor.” Even Facebook has changed its advertising rules so that Bloomberg can pay accounts like “Grape Juice Boys” to post screenshots of the septuagenarian saying “I put Lamborghini doors on the escalade.” He faces little opposition from the mainstream media cognoscenti, whose heads are either firmly planted in the sand or in Bloomberg’s [Removed. -Ed.]. “He is WAY richer than you,” the Washington Post’s Jennifer Rubin bragged in a reply to POTUS on Twitter. Hope he sees this, queen. “Calling Mike Bloomberg an oligarch,” huffed MSNBC’s Jason Johnson, “has implications in this country that I think are unfair and unreasonable.” I’ll spare the reader a “Webster’s defines…” and leave them to contemplate the “implications” of Mike 2020’s outrageous starting salaries and employee perks starving local political campaigns to death.
As the 2020 election rolls past Super Tuesday and beyond, only time will tell whether Bloomberg will release his legions of former female employees from their non-disclosure agreements, select Hillary Clinton as his vice presidential nominee, or keep his promise of throwing his full financial weight behind Not Bloomberg if they become the Democratic nominee. However the race unfolds, Bloomberg and his billions are here to stay… and to think: this entire article, without a single mention of “stop-and-frisk.”
May the best man win.
